I live in Canada and I'm Canadian  (as in: a Canadian citizen) but by place of birth and upbringing, I regard myself as British. Or is that English? Because I was born and raised in England...although in the past I have always answered the question of my heritage with the term 'British'. Maybe I was wrong to do so...What hasn't been helpful since I moved to North America (almost fifteen years ago, by Jimminy!) is that many Canadians - and seemingly most Americans - regard The United Kingdom and Great Britain to be adequately described by the word 'England'. It's a little (but not completely) like telling an American that they're all Californians, or a Canadian that they're all Ontarians. It's ignorant and rather silly. Silly seems to be the theme of 2016...

That's a bit of a side argument, I suppose, to my main observation, which concerns a recent proliferation - yet again(it seems to come around every year) - of people complaining about historical wrongs inflicted upon them by The British Empire - although frequently this is defined at a more local level as England bullying the other parts of the UK. It does, however, seem to be a global issue; who was shafted the worst by the Brits... Now don't go believing that we're talking about recent events here. Oh no. Frequently, we (I'm talking in this instance as a British person) find ourselves at the sharp end of overseas outrage concerning the actions of ancestral Brits (although, since my family has been working class for the last two hundred years, I seriously doubt that any of my ancestors had a hand in important and/or outrageous decision-making) hundreds of years ago.  Outrage, indignation and calls for apologies and recrimination seem to arrive like showers of rain in an English summer - in other words: frequently.

Recently - at least on my TV and computer - there seems to have been an uplift in the Irish outrage for the brutality of British rule over the centuries. On a regular basis, the Scots have a moan and a whine, and say some rather inflammatory things about the evil English and their historical treatment of their ancestors (because they were an unruly lot, 'we' duffed 'em up, basically). The Welsh seem to be permanently miffed at being attached to a larger, more populous, more prosperous part of the UK. Further afield, Indian politicians enjoy taking a shot at reminding everyone of 1947 (when the bloodbath of partition seems to have been entirely the fault of the Brits, rather than of the people committing the atrocities), Australians take great delight in publicly maligning the old country and recalling the alleged barbarism of the penal colonies, and once in a while an African head of state will let loose a diatribe against a Britain which in truth no longer exists.

Leaving aside the relative merits of any claims of barbarism, cruelty and general bad treatment, I can't help wondering whether it's time - and I suppose I'm talking about non-English people here - to stop the bloody whining. If an injustice was committed in the recent past - for example recent enough that the people actually responsible are still alive to be brought to account - then go ahead and make some noise, by all means. If, however - and this is at the heart of most of the complaining about Britain/England - the damage (real or imagined) lies at the feet of those long dead, what is the point of prolonging the agony? Psychologically, is it really healthy to perpetuate old hatreds?

I, for example, bear no grudge against William Wallace for the defeats he inflicted upon English forces before he eventually turned into Mel Gibson (surely a fate worse than death?). Why would I worry about that? As someone with 50% Irish genes, I consider the potato famine to be a historical event, and nothing more. There is nobody left to blame for the land-owning policies of that age which compounded that particular disaster, so why bear a grudge against a blameless nation? Why would I want hatred to form part of my national identity?

I was born in the sixties, when the world was still coloured in shades of grey and memories of the second World War were still quite fresh in my parents' memories. It was still a real thing. My father's family had their house blown up by German bombs. Members of my family were involved in that war, which proved to be the most savage in history. Should I bear ill will towards the nations of Germany, Italy and Japan? Because I don't. I think it's bizarre that the UK bankrupted itself to wage a war against a hugely powerful enemy alliance, only to watch those countries, after their defeat, be reconstructed and rejuvenated to become two of the most powerful economies on the planet while my country suffered decades of austerity. but i don't blame the people of those countries for that. I don't blame anyone. It's over, it's history and that's all there is to it. Sometimes - in fact frequently - it seems that some people cannot understand that such matters are best left as historical fact.

Let's get a bit silly to make the point. How far should we take old grudges, if it is really considered to be a relevant way to live? Obviously, I should have a real downer on the Germans and Japanese, but:

• Should I still be pissed off with the French (William the Conqueror)?
  
• Are the Angles or the Saxons more worthy of my hatred for overcoming the survivors of the Roman occupation?
  
• While we're at it, what about those bloody Romans? What DID they ever do for us?
  
• The Celts? Who did they push out of the way?
  
• Do I have a bone to pick (with a beautifully crafted stone tool, of course) with Homo Sapiens for that whole nasty business between them and the Neanderthal boys and girls?
  

Yes of course it's silly, and that's my basic point. Maintaining historical hate and ancestral grudges is a fool's game. All the people involved are dead. It's time, i think, to stop living in the past, and long past time to start worrying about an uncertain future.

Americans have spoken. They have unfortunately come out with a frankly unbelievable statement, but they have nevertheless used due process to bring to executive power one of the most odious, damned-by-his-own-words individuals ever to hold office. Added to his despicable nature is his compulsion for fiction and bare-faced lying, even when the truth is laid before him. That's a mighty combination; no wonder he is confident about getting along well with Vladimir 'I-can-ride-a-horse-without-wearing-a-shirt' Putin, although the financial interests he has in Russia will help grease those wheels. Brace yourselves for novel stories, folks.

There is now little else to do. Little else but to watch the dramas unfold - not least of which is the President-elect's little date in court to face charges of child rape. It will be interesting to see whether those particular accusations mysteriously evaporate. As in all other things, we have no choice but to wait and watch how the American system deals with what we all thought was impossible: a president with less sense and less insight than George W. Bush. Having watched THAT clusterfuck unfold, I'm not optimistic.

Over to you America. You made this mess, so deal with it. Who knows for how long the damage will leave scars that will hurt you.

I can be sure of one thing now: the USA is a place I will never visit again. The voting majority's embracing of obvious, blatant dishonesty, misogyny, racism and sexism, the worship of wealth, the pathetic rationalization and excusing of sexual misconduct is mind-boggling. The frankly hysterically mindless (and traditional) act of wrapping themselves in a flag - glorious patriotism which justifies any means - leaves me feeling sick when it doesn't make me laugh sardonically. Of course, I and my tourist dollars won't be missed - I'm insignificant, despite having put on a lot of weight lately (*cough*, moving swiftly on...).

But I'm not alone; the world has watched and witnessed mighty America's ethical and moral bankruptcy as it has played out this time around, more nakedly than ever before. We shall not forget.

And so the big day approaches. Analysts are intensifying their hunched shapes over polling numbers, media organizations are pumping out their chosen messages of political bias and non-fact, and the western world watches with one eye closed and through parted fingers as America, that self-proclaimed nation of being the best at just about everything, heaves itself into another bizarre travesty of a democratic election.
 
The odd thing is, though, that the result doesn't matter as much as it should. The result will very, very probably not bring about the end of civilization as we know it. Life will - again: very, very probably - go on much as before for the overwhelming majority of us. Especially for those of us not unfortunate enough to have found ourselves to be American. Indeed, one thing will be more clear than ever before -  no matter what the final outcome of this strangely complicated electoral system may be. America is a country with more than its fair share of idiots.
 
I apologize - I'll moderate my language a little here. When I say 'idiots', what I'm really trying to describe (using, I know, a rather judgemental term - forgive me) is the seemingly enormous proportion of the American voting population who, for whatever reasons, have now exposed themselves as Morons, Dunces, Fuckwits and - let's not beat about the bush here - Cockwombles. There now, that's much better - I felt I was doing them a disservice by not using the correct terminology.
 
I'm referring (as if there was any doubt among those of us who have evolved a central nervous system) to the apparent legions of Trump supporters. You know the sort: the people who genuinely want to know why Obama allowed 9/11 to happen on his watch, or those who - by way of writing such upon their vests - invite Trump to grab their pussies. It seems - from the most recent polling, anyway - that there are even more of these troglodytic oxygen thieves than I thought was possible. Yes, the numbers from recent polls tell us that not only is Donald Trump at least neck-and-neck with Hillary Clinton, but that he is also considered more honest. I swear, my fingers just started laughing.
 
There's no way to put this Genie back in the bottle. I may just as well try to push my genitals into a keyhole (I'm not saying that I've ever tried this late at night in a teenage drunken stupor, but trust me here: it's not possible). America, you have shown the world what you truly are - and it's not pretty. No amount of lipstick will make this particular pig look any better. Over the years, Hollywood has pushed out its 'America is the greatest place on earth' propaganda relentlessly and in the face of a great deal of evidence to the contrary, but this election campaign has shown us - everyone outside the borders of the richest (or put another way: most indebted) nation on the planet - the truth.
 
America, you are divided. You are divided by income levels and the attitudes towards those with less, and yet you continue to trot out the nonsense of 'The American Dream'. You are divided by race, and yet you deny it. You are divided by religion; by the rigid belief systems of different religions or even by the equally rigid differences between denominations. America, you are divided by attitudes towards sexuality and gender. These attitudes echo those of the mediaeval period of Europe, and yet they flourish in an age when information is almost literally at our fingertips, and in an age when literacy is at an all-time high. You are divided by the refusal to accept reality.
 
America, you are overrun with bigots, racists and religious zealots; all of whom belong in another time, and yet are embraced and encouraged and allowed to prosper financially at the expense of the vulnerable. You are overrun with liars and cheats, hucksters who are encouraged in their ruthlessness by the idea that making money is the end which justifies almost any means. You are swamped with greedy, conscience-free and downright evil individuals who rise to the financial heights by the quickest route, and stand upon the shoulders of the ordinary man and woman.
 
You have run out of excuses, America. Trump - the man whom so many people seem to idolize -  personifies the worst of a political and financial class which has no time for honesty or integrity (the two most essential ingredients for any public servant, surely?). Your hero Trump is so blatantly vile, so obviously dishonest and so hilariously unqualified to lead even a scout troop, the world is caught between laughing with glee or howling in horror. The rest of the world can see what is happening, America. This campaign has lifted your skirts to show the true colours beneath: the disgusting racism and sexism, the religious bigotry, the vile insatiable greed and the power-at-any-cost approach to political activity.
 
No matter who wins the presidency, America, the world has already discovered the truth that you sought to keep from us.
 
Once again America, you have been discovered.