I'm paying the price for a life of abuse. Not, you understand, a life of abusing anyone else, but a life spent using my body in ways which have taxed it somewhat. I didn't think I'd done so, but it's the only justification for the current selection of aches and pains which plague me. I haven't, for example, jumped out of things, jumped onto or into things from great heights (in fact I've avoided great heights as much as possible), placed myself in the way of rampaging bulls (not quite, anyway) or explosive devices (again; not quite, anyway). I had thought that I'd treated my body rather well - I've been physically fit for most of my life (not including the last five years) and while on balance, I've eaten rather too much, most of what I've eaten hasn't been bad stuff. I've never taken recreational drugs in any form (excepting, like so many of us: alcohol) and I've never smoked.
Even so, I seem to be falling apart.
The list of symptoms so far:
Back pain: Upper back, sometimes lower back, sometimes one side, sometimes the other. My back hates me. It's been doing this for the last twenty five years.
Knees: going upstairs, going downstairs - it doesn't seem to matter which; my knees enjoy neither.
Hands: cold weather makes them ache like buggery. Putting them to hard work makes them hurt much more, and my grip is now rather crappy. Does this mean that I'm losing my grip on reality?
Wrists: beginning to hurt sporadically, especially if a computer mouse is in the room.
Eyes: I used to have a sniper's vision, aced every eye test I ever took and had the testers convinced that I was cheating every time. I wasn't. Now, I have to suffer the indignity of reading glasses, a pair of varifocal glasses which make me feel nauseous, and the knowledge that I look stupid when in fact I'm simply having trouble focusing.
Ears: conversations in noisy environments seem to be becoming more and more difficult to follow. Shit.
Neck: totally bollocksed. It hurts a lot despite the best efforts of a chiropractor and a massage therapist. This bothers me most right now because it's even hurting while I type.
Pancreas: doesn't work, hasn't worked since '95. Oh well.
Heart: beginning to make its presence felt with palpitations which I have been assured are harmless. It shouldn't be doing it anyway as far as I'm concerned.
Other than these issues, I'm doing just fine. I wonder what would I be like if I'd been a boozing, smoking junkie?